Perhaps we should begin this blog with the most apt example of a Christmas outfit idea. When it comes to getting dressed on the holidays, you want to be both dignified and festive.
Find yourself an outfit that speaks to both your sophisticated side as well as the part of you squealing with joy that the holidays are finally here. This Christmas suit is definitely a winner, while this one is a close runner up. Both have an air of elegance to them while still indulging in all things Christmas, like little snowmen and the classic ugly Christmas sweater patterns. But don’t be fooled, there’s a world out there of terrible, truly terrible Christmas outfits that people can’t seem to get away from. Now, we’re here to bring to your attention all those fashion police moments so you can avoid a Christmas conundrum when it comes to picking out the perfect holiday outfit.
Yes, we’ll admit, the religious connotations of this widespread holiday are important, but that doesn’t mean that you should go around dressing up like the big man himself. Leave that to the professionals, like Pope Francis. And you know what, while we’re at it, let’s add “The Nativity Scene” to the list of terrible Christmas outfits. It might be adorable when your nephew got bundled up in a bed sheet to look like a Bedouin, but when a grown person tries to pull the same stunt, the effect isn’t as cute. So, ditch the biblical beard, ditch the wooden staff, and turban. We live in the 21th century and if you know how to button a pair of pants, chances are you’re going to do a pretty bad job of wrapping your bedsheet into a cloak.
Elf on the Shelf:
Thankfully not all households took the Elf on the Shelf as seriously as yours did. Your parents scared the living daylights out of you every time they put that cheerful little doll on the mantle telling you that he was watching your every move. You lost 10 pounds alone that month because you stopped stealing cookies from the pantry. So now that your parents are old, they’re not enforcing the Elf on the Shelf policy like they used to, but that doesn’t mean you should pick up the slack, dress up like an elf, sit on the mantle, and stress out your younger siblings. And just a PSA, if you decide to do this, make sure the fire isn’t lit when the mantle gives way and you’re roasted in a camp fire.
The Christmas Tree:
You only have one job when it comes to the tree and that is to decorate it. ONLY. We don’t want to see you suddenly wrapping yourself in tinsel or hanging the ornaments you made in your second-grade catholic school class off your ears. Let the tree be the tree and let you be you. Now, if you’d like to embody the spirit of festivity and wear something with a Christmas tree pattern like this one, that’s a respectable and suave way of pulling it off.
There are two schools of thought when it comes to dressing like Santa. The first is the huggable, lovable grandpa with the fluffy white beard and big belly. The second is the modern suave Santa with the hipster beard and Gucci jacket. If and when you decide to dress up like Santa don’t take artistic liberties with the costume. A truly terrible Christmas outfit idea is one that involves a sloppy Santa!
Like You’re Still in the 90’s:
We can’t fault the entire world for whatever horrendous fashion trends the 90’s had to offer, but we can most definitely fault whoever chooses to perpetuate these trends today! When the holiday comes around chances are you have a corporate event to attend, so when you leave the house make sure your pants are tailored, hemmed, fitted, and above all else if you look anything like this, turn around right this instant, you have to change your outfit.
The 13-Year-Old Christmas Sweater You Can’t Seem to Throw Out:
We get it, the Christmas sweater you grandma knit for you back in ’95 has immense sentimental value, but it also has holes, and food stains, and pulls, and basically you can’t be seen in it anymore according to the fashion experts at OppoSuits. Yes, wearing it is like getting a Christmas hug. Yes, you don’t have to scramble for an outfit because it’s your trusty sweater. But there are more fish in the sea and who’s to say the perfect (and brand-new) Christmas sweater is right around the corner.
You can barely handle group costumes when it comes to Halloween, let alone on Christmas. So, if a bunch of girls approach you with gift wrap and taffeta bows and tell you to wrap yourself in it, just tell them that 1. You don’t talk to strangers and 2. You don’t give into peer pressure.
Dwight Schrute as Belsnickel:
If you’re unfamiliar with Belsnickel, please educate yourself with this clip of the office. Now if it’s your jam (and tradition) to dress up like Belsnickel, then you do you! But maybe go easy on the dirt and fur, for your mental health. But, if anything, watch that clip for a little pick-me-up if you’re ever bored while in the office.
The arguably worst Christmas outfit for you to don’t this holiday season is absolutely nothing! Please, for the love of all that is sacred this holiday season, we beg that you wear any of the nine previous worst Christmas outfits before deciding to just show up naked. We know that dressing for the holidays is stressful, but it shouldn’t be so stressful that you simply don’t wear anything.